I don't "owe" anybody an explanation for what I was doing between April/May of 2017 and when I resumed posting in July of '18. But you're going to get one anyway.
I had always heard how hard it was to care for a parent with dementia. I always kinda figured it wasn't really, all that hard. It's really that hard. And I had it easy. My mom got nicer as she grew more confused (this never happens). It's not really the hours or individual days that are hard, it's the cumulative effect of doing it for YEARS and not really knowing when it would end. I was taking care of her back when I started the blog, but it was a lot easier then (she could still feed herself).
Her passing was a blessing for both of us. Please save your sympathy for people still going through all that. And I mean it, you might know someone who says, "Oh it's not that bad, dad's doing ok. We're managing." They're probably lying. Help them out (or at least cut them some slack) if you can.
I know you wrote "save your sympathy for people still going through all that" but I can't not write something to you. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is hard at any age and in any situation.
ReplyDeleteI hear you.
ReplyDeleteFor a couple of months my mother had lost her wits, too. I had to watch her every minute to prevent her from getting hurt while she kept screaming at me. And, like you, I didn't know when it would end. All my projects, all my previous life, they looked like someone else's life.
Now she feels better. She still suffers from memory losses but otherwise she has recovered most of her autonomy.
I hope that it lasts.
I lost my mother with dementia and it was a harrowing and awful thing to see one I loved so much slowly become a different person , but still one I loved and I have every sympathy in what happened with your mother and yourself and realise how hard it was to lose her .
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